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NBA Power Rankings 11/5

Posted By Michael Holley On November 5, 2009 @ 8:55 am In General | 8 Comments

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Boston Celtics [1]1. KG is still his intense and profane self on the court, but I always look forward to his unpredictable compliments to postgame interviewers. My favorite so far is KG hugging Cheryl Miller and saying, “You smell good, girl.”

Denver Nuggets [2]2. Can anyone tell me why Ty Lawson had to sit and watch 10 other guards’ names called before his on draft night? What a steal for the Nuggets.

Los Angeles Lakers [3]3. I like watching young Andrew Bynum play. I really do. What I hate is hearing some Lakers fans talk about him. Listen to them and you’d think the guy is the next Kareem.

Orlando Magic [4]4. We spent the offseason talking about the additions the Cavaliers and Celtics made, but the Magic’s acquisition of Matt Barnes was one of the smartest pickups of the summer.


Atlanta Hawks [5]5. Speaking of brilliant additions, look what ageless Joe Smith and Jamal Crawford have done for the Hawks’ depth.

San Antonio Spurs [6] 6. I still can’t get over the fact that Manu Ginobili swatted a gliding bat out of the air, picked it up with his bare hands, walked it over to a security guard, and then kept playing as if nothing happened. I can’t decide if this is cool or if we should all be freaked out.

Cleveland Cavaliers [7]7. My friend, former Cav Donny Marshall, is trying to convince me that LeBron and Dwyane Wade are the same player — just in different sizes. I think they’re both great, but I’m not buying that one. Are you?

Miami Heat [8]8. This ranking is definitely a testament to Wade’s greatness. Have you seen this team? The Heat start three guards, the wrong O’Neal at center, and a kid who constantly straddles the line between hoops and rehab.

Dallas Mavericks [9]9. I already want to bail on the Mavs and they haven’t played 10 games yet. They were two wins from a title three years ago, and they’ll never come that close again.
Phoenix Suns [10]10. When you want bubblegum pop, you watch the Suns. You know they’re just going to give you a sugar high with very little substance, but you hang around anyway. They put on an entertaining skills competition every night, defense be damned.

Houston Rockets [11]11. It’s obvious: The Rockets love playing without Tracy McGrady. And I don’t blame them. They’re a better team without Tin-Mac, who’s got a world of talent and no heart.

Portland Trail Blazers [12]12. This is going to sound weird, but they’ve actually done too good a job of ridding the team of the Jail Blazers moniker. While they don’t need an out-and-out thug, they could use an enforcer who would complement their very well-balanced team personality. You know who would have been perfect? Ron Artest.

Washington Wizards [13]13. Hey Flip Saunders. Anybody off the street can sit there and watch Gilbert Arenas shoot 9-for-27 (which is what he did in a home loss to the Heat). How about coaching him?

New Orleans Hornets [14]14. Why do people say that Chris Paul “does it by himself”? I think his supporting cast is good, and it got better in the offseason when Tyson Chandler was swapped for Emeka Okafor. Okafor hasn’t played on a quality team since he left UConn, so I’m excited to see what he does with the league’s best point guard on his side.

Toronto Raptors [15]15. Enjoy it while it lasts, Canadians. Enjoy what? The ranking. The Chris Bosh era. Everything.

Philadelphia 76ers [16]16. Tell me another player who has fallen off more quickly than Elton Brand. It wasn’t that long ago when he was considered elite. Now, if you and four of your friends drafted the top 50 players in the league, Elton might not get picked.

Charlotte Bobcats [17]17. I told you they weren’t as bad as that 59-point bomb against the Celtics last week. Larry Brown, turnaround specialist, is at it again.

Chicago Bulls [18]18. You have to overlook a hell of a lot of posing, some chest-thumping, and the most god-awful shooting form you’ll ever see, but if you sift through the nonsense, Joakim Noah can actually grow on you.

Oklahoma City Thunder [19]19. Hello? Any Old Bastards from the 1980s NBA in the house? Kevin Durant is Alex English — with more range.

Detroit Pistons [20]20. The rumors are that Tayshaun Prince will be traded. I wouldn’t find that so hard to believe if he didn’t have such a bad contract.

Utah Jazz [21]21. My most disappointing team of the season so far.

Milwaukee Bucks [22]22. They’re more competitive than I thought they’d be. Brandon Jennings, who just turned 20, is fun to watch.

Memphis Grizzles [23]23. Tell me again: Why did they sign Allen Iverson?

Indiana Pacers [24]24. I sometimes wonder whose sad franchise will be better off in three years: Larry Bird’s Pacers or Michael Jordan’s Bobcats?

Sacramento Kings [25]25. They jumped five spots in a week. They’re bad, just not as bad as we thought.

Minnesota Timberwolves [26]26. At least they can say they’ve given the Celtics their toughest game of the season so far.

Golden State Warriors [27]27. Do you want a feel-good story or do you want to be pissed off? Well, I can accomplish both with one statement: Warriors center Mikki Moore, who simply is not a good player, makes more than a million dollars a year. If anyone wants to debate you on the unique opportunities that exist in America, feel free to drop that nugget on them.

Los Angeles Clippers [28]28. You think I’m joking, but I swear I’m not watching them for another month or so. It’s just not worth it.

New York Knicks [29]29. At about 4 o’clock yesterday they were slotted at No. 24. And then things got crazy: They lost at home to the Pacers and nutty Stephon Marbury complained that the team didn’t play defense.

New Jersey Nets [30]30. I’ve got 19 and 63, and I’m sticking with it.


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