I’ve heard of “Blame It on the Rain” before, but “blame it on the sleet”? That’s a new one.

But Shaquille O’Neal has made a living off coming up with new slogans, and Wednesday night was no different. In a span of about five minutes after an ugly 86-82 Celtics victory against the Pistons, he blamed the Celtics’ sluggishness on the weather, invented a nickname for himself and Rajon Rondo, explained his team’s need to step on the Pistons’ throats, vowed to make free throws in the clutch and described how he got on Semih Erden‘s ass. Not bad.

O’Neal produced on the floor, too, for all 25 minutes. One of few Celtics to play inspired basketball throughout the game, he recorded a season-high 12 rebounds — including five on the offensive end — to go along with 12 points, three steals and a pair of blocks. He did miss a pair of free throws with three minutes to play that would’ve tied the game, but his effort sparked the comeback that eventually resulted in a four-point win.

It was all in a day’s work for Shaq. We’ll let him explain:

• On the effort: “It was just a flat game. Blame it on one of those days. I’m going to blame it on the sleet. Is that the right word — rain and snow combined? Yeah, I’m going to blame it on the sleet.”
• On the starters: “You got any one of the Big Three and ‘La Odda Dos’ — me and Rondo — that can take over a game at any time. We’ve just got to continue to play hard. We’ve got to learn to get up for everybody.” (I think Shaq actually meant “La Otra Dos,” the Spanish translation for “The Other Two”)
• More on the effort: “We don’t make excuses. We’ve just got to get it done. … We just have to learn to put our foot on people’s necks and kill them right away. We can’t keep playing with people.”
• On Erden: “I had to get on his ass tonight. He was out there messing around. We have a pretty great relationship. He listens to me, and after I got on his ass, he had a couple dunks and a couple rebounds.”
• Even more on the effort: “We knew that we were out there messing around … and not really as focused. It’s kind of hard getting up for teams like that, but if we want to win the whole thing we’ve got to get up for everybody. We have to realize that teams are going to come in here and play way above their heads.”
• On his free throws: “If we had lost the game, I would’ve been really upset. Keep in mind, when we really, really, really need them, I’ll be there, and you won’t have to worry about it — studies show.”
• On his effort: “The whole team was flat. I just had to pick it up. I haven’t been playing that many minutes, so I’m not really tired. I really haven’t been rebounding all that well, so I just wanted to try to grab every loose ball, every rebound.”