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Irish Coffee: Top 10 reasons Celtics should hire Antoine Walker

Antoine Walker [1] wants to be the next coach of the Boston Celtics [2].


No, seriously, Antoine Walker wants to be the next coach of the Boston Celtics.

‘€œI want to be back in the game, I love the game and am a student of the game,’€ he told The Boston Globe [4]. ‘€œI want to stress seriously that I do want to become a coach … there’€™s a lot of guys starting to get opportunities and so the league is getting younger coaches. Obviously I’€™m lacking in experience but we’€™ve all got to start from somewhere.’€

OK, then. I guess these would be the Top 10 reasons the Celtics should hire Antoine Walker.

10. The Las Vegas Summer League would last all summer. Incredible team bonding opportunity.

9. When Danny Ainge finally clears salary cap space, he’ll have no trouble spending it.

8. He was a working knowledge of the D-League [5] and those pesky offseason conditioning programs [6].

7. “He is truly expert at making chicken salad out of chicken excrement.” And some other stuff Bob Ryan said [7].

6. Three-pointers. So many 3-pointers. “Because there are no fours [8].”

5. He can still perform the Walker Wiggle [9] in a suit. In fact, it’s probably better that way.

4. He’s used to yelling at Paul Pierce [10] during timeouts and always knew Pierce could be a scorer off the bench [11].

3. His assistant coaches, probably: Kenny Anderson [12], Vin Baker [13], Dino Radja [14] and about 15 dudes from Chicago.

2. He sold his championship ring [15], so he needs another one.

1. Guaranteed lottery picks and “that [expletive] crazy [16]” draft parties for the length of his contract.