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Kelly Olynyk doesn’t have a fork, shower curtain

Posted By Ben Rohrbach On October 4, 2013 @ 3:35 pm In General | 8 Comments

Pitchfork [1]

Celtics rookie Kelly Olynyk is keeping a diary [2] for Comcast (h/t Celtics Life [3]). In his first entry, we learn the young Canadian who Danny Ainge once called “a 7-foot hippy quarterback” doesn’t have a fork or a shower curtain.

“I’m basically starting from scratch out here. I don’t really know anyone, don’t have anything to my name out here, don’t even have a fork!

“I had to go and get everything, and I still need more. Sometimes I’ll be in my apartment and go to do something, and I’ll be like, ‘I don’t have a shower curtain! I have to take a bath?’ So I get in my car and drive to the practice facility and take a shower.”

Psycho [4]

Considering he’s been in the Boston area for much of the summer — conducting a Green Line train [5], riding Canobie Lake Park water slides [6] and doing pretty much anything the Celtics ask of him — there are only a few conclusions we can possibly draw from this revelation: a) the cost of living in Waltham is way too steep if a guy making $2.0 million can’t afford a fork and a shower curtain; b) he has an irrational fear of vinyl and cutlery ever since that time he watched Psycho; or c) his love of the game rivals Homeland character Peter Quinn’s love of killing terrorists, and his apartment features only a book and a basketball. My money’s on the final option.

In related news, Jared Sullinger thinks Olynyk looks like somebody from Lord of the Rings [7], most likely Legolas Greenleaf. And everyone on the Celtics calls him Sunshine as an ode to Remember the Titans [8].

Lord of the Rings [9]

Remember the Titans [10]


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URL to article: http://greenstreet.weei.com/sports/boston/basketball/celtics/2013/10/04/kelly-olynyk-doesnt-have-a-fork-shower-curtain/

URLs in this post:

[1] Image: http://greenstreet.weei.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Pitchfork.jpg

[2] a diary: http://www.csnne.com/blog/celtics-talk/entry-1-its-been-whirlwind

[3] Celtics Life: http://www.chatsports.com/boston-celtics/a/Kelly-Olynyk-needs-a-fork-and-a-shower-curtain-2-8576564

[4] Image: http://greenstreet.weei.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Psycho.jpg

[5] conducting a Green Line train: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84n5okbyx9M

[6] riding Canobie Lake Park water slides: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD13yE_nvPE

[7] thinks Olynyk looks like somebody from Lord of the Rings: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1WR2bLUHcs

[8] an ode to Remember the Titans: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIVfD0ZA6jE

[9] Image: http://greenstreet.weei.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Lord-of-the-Rings.jpg

[10] Image: http://greenstreet.weei.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Remember-the-Titans.jpg

[11] > Kelly Olynyk doesn’t have a fork, shower curtain" data-url="http://greenstreet.weei.com/sports/boston/basketball/celtics/2013/10/04/kelly-olynyk-doesnt-have-a-fork-shower-curtain/">Tweet: http://twitter.com/share

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