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Kelly Olynyk doesn’t have a fork, shower curtain

Celtics [1] rookie Kelly Olynyk is keeping a diary [2] for Comcast (h/t Celtics Life [3]). In his first entry, we learn the young Canadian who Danny Ainge once called “a 7-foot hippy quarterback” doesn’t have a fork or a shower curtain.

“I’m basically starting from scratch out here. I don’t really know anyone, don’t have anything to my name out here, don’t even have a fork!

“I had to go and get everything, and I still need more. Sometimes I’ll be in my apartment and go to do something, and I’ll be like, ‘I don’t have a shower curtain! I have to take a bath?’ So I get in my car and drive to the practice facility and take a shower.”

Considering he’s been in the Boston area for much of the summer — conducting a Green Line train [4], riding Canobie Lake Park water slides [5] and doing pretty much anything the Celtics ask of him — there are only a few conclusions we can possibly draw from this revelation: a) the cost of living in Waltham is way too steep if a guy making $2.0 million can’t afford a fork and a shower curtain; b) he has an irrational fear of vinyl and cutlery ever since that time he watched Psycho; or c) his love of the game rivals Homeland character Peter Quinn’s love of killing terrorists, and his apartment features only a book and a basketball. My money’s on the final option.

In related news, Jared Sullinger thinks Olynyk looks like somebody from Lord of the Rings [6], most likely Legolas Greenleaf. And everyone on the Celtics calls him Sunshine as an ode to Remember the Titans [7].