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Irish Coffee: The Kris Humphries Minutes Watch

11.08.13 at 12:59 pm ET
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The Kris Humphries Minutes Watch is one of the more interesting subplots of this Celtics season.

By sticking him on the end of the bench early this season, the C’s benefit twofold, accelerating the development of rookies Kelly Olynyk and Vitor Faverani while improving the team’s lottery chances.

On the flip side, the Celtics might also benefit from increasing Humphries’ playing time. He’s a 10-year NBA veteran who’s averaged a double-double per 36 minutes over his career, so there’s little doubt he gives Brad Stevens a better chance to stay afloat until Rajon Rondo returns than Faverani. Meanwhile, showcasing him might actually increase his expiring contract’s trade value in the coming months.

In other words, the Kris Humphries Minutes Watch might just be the best tanking barometer we have. And, unlike at least one of his Celtics teammates, Humphries doesn’t seem all that bothered by either situation.

‘€œI don’€™t look at it like that,’€ he told the Boston Herald’s Steve Bulpett. ‘€œI look at it like I’€™ve got to prepare myself to help my team whatever way I can. I can’€™t read into all that stuff. If you’€™re a professional, you’€™ve got to do your job. That’€™s preparing yourself to play, whether you’€™re playing or not playing. We’€™re all trying to do that.’€

The fact his name was on the tip of just about everybody’s tongue when the Knicks lost Tyson Chandler for 4-6 weeks is a good sign for his trade market. Considering each team’s financial situation, such a deal seems far from likely, since the Celtics would almost certainly have to absorb the $23.3 million left on Andrea Bargnani‘s contract through 2015 in return. Still, any number of contending teams might need frontcourt help by February.

It’s a good thing Humphries has enough Patron, wine and craft beer to get him through the season (see video).

FREE REFILL

Any time Bill Walton discusses Larry Bird, it deserves to be mentioned.

‘€œIt’€™s impossble to identify one moment,’€ Walton told an Indiana newspaper. ‘€œLarry Bird is like John Wooden, Bob Dylan, Jerry Garcia, Neil Young — the greatest of the greats in that it’€™s the totality of their lives and the quality of their spirit and soul that makes them so unique, so incredible and so worthy of a statue. ‘€¦

‘€œJohn Wooden would always tell us that it’€™s not how big you are, it’€™s how big you play. In that regard, Larry Bird is a true giant. What makes him so special is his brain, his heart, his compassionate soul, even though he is a tough guy in terms of getting the job done. But Larry Bird is as fine of a human being as I’€™ve ever known and he was the best player I ever played with. He was the smartest player I ever played with. Playing basketball with Larry Bird was like playing music with Garcia, Dylan and Mozart. It was like having a discussion about science technology with Isaac Newton, Galileo, Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs. It was just awe-inspiring to be in his presence.’€

I get the feeling Bill Walton likes this Larry Bird fellow. In that same Greensburg Daily News story, Danny Ainge said he attended the legendary 1979 NCAA championship game between Michigan State and Indiana State in Salt Lake City and decided to abandon baseball only to play with Bird or Magic Johnson.

THE LAST DROP

Rajon Rondo describes his style as “collegiate fresh” and his attitude as “be fresh, play fresh.” ‘€¦ Red Auerbach served as best man at this guy’s wedding. ‘€¦ The great Jessica Camerato is now writing for HoopsWorld and profiled MarShon Brooks. ‘€¦ Statistically, the Celtics’ defense is elite. ‘€¦ Brad Stevens air-balls a jumper. ‘€¦ Jared Sullinger‘s girlfriend’s lawyer went on a podcast. ‘€¦ The Celtics are young and fat. ‘€¦ Buzzfeed broke down an amazingly awkward hug between Stevens and Jeff Green in gif form.

(Have a question, concern or conception for the next Irish Coffee? Send a message to @brohrbach on Twitter.)

Read More: Boston Celtics, Irish Coffee, Kris Humphries, NBA
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