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Irish Coffee: Interpreting Celtics vs. Lakers 01.31.11 at 1:07 pm ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦

Considering all the stars on and off the court — for both teams — at Sunday’s game between the Celtics and Lakers, you would’ve thought there’d have been some great Twitter messages in the aftermath of the C’s 109-96 victory at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. There wasn’t, so I made them up anyway. Here’s my interpretation of what the players and celebrity fans should’ve Tweeted throughout the finals rematch:

  • Matt Damon: “The Celtics are showing ‘True Grit’. The Lakers are playing like True …”
  • Jimmy Kimmel: “I’m feeling Matt Damon.”
  • Ron Artest: “Is this my second season with the Lakers? Time to check out.”
  • Phil Jackson: “I’m going to kill Ron Art– (deep breath) Serenity now!!!”
  • Kobe Bryant: “The ring I bought my wife and Artest’s contract cost the same. And I’m sorry for both.”
  • Robert Rodriguez: “Black Mamba seems like a strange nickname for a guy who was once arrested for sexual assault, but let’s go with it Kobe!”
  • Derek Fisher: “A cheerleader blew me a kiss, and I thought I got shot. I flopped like 10 feet backwards!”
  • Zac Efron: “Who’s worse at acting: Me or Fisher?”
  • Paul Pierce: “The only way I could’ve made this win better is to get the wheelchair involved.”
  • Adam Sandler: “KG told a ballboy he had a better chance of catching Bin Laden than getting an autograph? Was it Bobby Boucher? ‘Stop making fun of me!'”
  • Kevin Garnett: “It wasn’t a good week for me and things that hold balls. Just ask Channing Frye.”
  • George Lopez: “Wait, why aren’t I rooting for the Nuggets? They have Eduardo Najera!”
  • Glen Davis: “Coach told me to treat Odom and Andrew Bynum like a bowl of gumbo. Eat ‘em up. Ayo!”
  • Lamar Odom: “I’m not sure whose badonkadonk is bigger: Big Baby’s or Khloe Kardashian‘s.”
  • John Lackey: “Who’s better looking: Me or Semih Erden?”
  • Brooklyn Decker: “I love basketball. How many touchdowns does Kobe have? Oh, and who’s better looking: Me or John Lackey’s wife?”
  • Joey Crawford: “Wait, Kendrick Perkins is back? (whistle) Technical foul, No. 43.”
  • Kendrick Perkins: “Two technicals in two nights. I’m in midseason form!”

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers, Paul Pierce
Name That NBA Tweet: Celtics vs. Suns 01.28.11 at 6:09 pm ET
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Welcome to ‘€œName that NBA Tweet’€ ‘€” the game show where everybody’€™s a loser (including the host)! If you didn’€™t catch the first season over on LEEInks, here’€™s the deal: An athlete or celebrity posted the following 140-character thought on his/her twitter account over the last week. This week’€™s episode features a Celtics vs. Suns theme in anticipation of Friday’s game. It’€™s your job to figure out who produced these Shakespearean efforts.

1. ‘€œI’€™ma go home and sit by the fire and drink some hot cocoa. And listen to some John Denver!!!’€

‘€“ Glen Davis or Justin Bieber?

Davis is Big Baby. Bieber sings ‘€œBaby’€. Both have been known to dance the Dougie.

Answer: Click here.

 2. ‘€œGotta pick my girls up early from a half day of school. How good were half days?!!’€

‘€“ Steve Nash or Ice Cube?

Cube messed around and got a triple-double, while Nash once recorded a triple-double in a playoff game.

Answer: Click here.

3. ‘€œThank you for all your well wishes. I AM slowly coming out of this thing. It has been truly, truly brutal.‘€

‘€“ Jermaine O’€™Neal or Dr. Drew?

Drew is recovering from Leptospirosis. Jermaine is recovering from Oh-my-knee-itis.

Answer: Click here.

4. ‘€œWhat did everbody think about Obama’€™s State of the Union speech he just finished?’€

‘€“ Jared Dudley or Shannon Elizabeth?

Dudley played alongside Sean Williams at Boston College, while Elizabeth played alongside Sean William Scott in ‘€œAmerican Pie’€.

Answer: Click here.

5. ‘€œWELL THIS IS SUNDAY ‘€¦ so let’€™s all give a big shout out to GOD ‘€¦ and LOVE.’€

‘€“ Nate Robinson or Kirstie Alley?

Robinson has won three dunk contests. Alley has probably won at least that many pie-eating contests.

Answer: Click here.

Thanks for playing again, folks. Two more terrible Twitter puns: If you got four or more wrong, you’€™re a Twignoramus; if you got four or more right, you’€™ve got Twisdom. Until next week, and, as Bob Barker said, ‘€œHave your pets spayed or neutered!’€

Read More: Boston Celtics, Justin Bieber, Name That Tweet, Phoenix Suns
Irish Coffee: Why Celtics should fear Suns 01.28.11 at 12:33 pm ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦

I’ve got to hand it to colleague Jerry Spar for this one. It’s not surprising that the Celtics haven’t performed well on back-to-back nights when the second game is on the road, regardless of where the first game is played. What’s surprising is how putrid they’ve been in those situations this season.

And they’ve found themselves in that situation again Friday night, as the Celtics take on the Suns in Phoenix less than 24 hours and 1,300 miles removed from defeating the Trail Blazers 88-78 in Portland Thursday night.

Here’s how the Celtics have fared on the road during the second leg of back-to-back nights:

  • Oct. 27 at Cleveland: 95-87 loss
  • Nov. 8 at Dallas: 89-87 loss
  • Dec. 9 at Philadelphia: 102-101 win
  • Dec. 29 at Detroit: 104-92 loss
  • Jan. 8 at Chicago: 90-79 loss
  • Jan. 22 at Washington: 85-83 loss

Note: This doesn’t include the Nov. 22 game at Atlanta (a 99-76 win), because the game the day before (at Toronto) was played in the afternoon, not at night — allowing for extra travel/recovery time.

For those of you counting at home, that’s a 1-5 record in such instances, with the lone win a one-point decision over a 20-25 Sixers team that required a Kevin Garnett alley-oop with 1.4 seconds left.

The Celtics have five remaining games in these situations:

  • Friday at Phoenix
  • March 14 at New Jersey
  • March 19 at New Orleans
  • March 28 at Indiana
  • April 1 at Atlanta

Note: This doesn’t include Feb. 7 at Charlotte or April 11 at Washington because the games the previous days are in the afternoon.

Spar took this breakdown further, noting that the C’s have had four occurrences when they’ve played the second game on back-to-back nights at home (the first game was on the road each time). They’re 4-0 in those instances.

The fact that the Celtics are four-point favorites tonight in Phoenix makes all this even more interesting.

THE CASE FOR KENDRICK PERKINS

I won’t bore you with in-depth statistical analysis like I did the other day, so I’ll let the New York Times do it for me. If you like this stuff, as I do, you’ll love this piece about why Kendrick Perkins makes a huge difference.

While Perkins’ 36-minute averages last season of 13.2 points and 9.8 rebounds are good, they don’t reflect the Celtics center’s impact, particularly defensively. Even the adjusted plus/minus statistics that author Michael Lewis unveiled to portray the relative value of a player like Shane Battier don’t help Perkins’ case.

Over his last two seasons of action, Perkins has posted a -5.76 adjusted plus/minus, one of the worst marks in the league. Adjusted plus/minus is far from infallible, but characteristically it favors guys who fall in line with Perkins’€™ reputation: tough-defending, solid-rebounding, low-usage role players on winning teams.

Furthermore, when you look at the production of his individual opponents, Perkins’ 2009-10 numbers aren’t so favorable, either, as they were for Battier.

In each of his last two seasons, Perkins has allowed opposing centers to produce at an above average rate, a curiosity for a well-regarded player whose primary contributions come on the defensive end.

Yet, when you examine his per-possession statistics, it sheds some light on Perkins’ value.

According to Synergy Sports Technology, Perkins allowed just 0.77 points per possession in the post during the 2009-10 season, a truly impressive mark. Opponents on the low block shot just 38.5 percent despite their proximity to the basket, and Perkins, amazingly, fouled opponents on only 6.3 percent of their post-up possessions. Go back to the 2008-09 season and the numbers get even better: 0.73 points per possession allowed and 35.4 percent shooting.

PORTLAND PERSPECTIVE

Following an ugly, ugly game that saw the Celtics tie a season-high for turnovers (21), the Trail Blazers still had high praise for their Eastern Conference foes. Here‘s what they told the Oregonian:

LaMarcus Aldridge: “They showed why they are champions. They played championship basketball. They do a good job of taking away the paint. Every time I wanted to go middle, I never saw anything [open]. I tried to force it a couple times, turned it over, but I think they are one of the best teams at not … letting you get to the basket.”

Nate McMillan: “That’s a great team. That team is prepared and built to win a championship. I thought our guys scrapped. I thought they played hard. They battled tonight. But they have so many options that they can go to. When you have that many options and that team is locked in to playing that way, knowing how to win. It’s going to be a tough game.”

Two other interesting statistics from the Celtics’ victory on Thursday night:

  • Portland out-shot the C’s, 90-64, but made only three more field goals (33-30).
  • In just 31 minutes, Kevin Garnett nearly recorded his first triple-double of the season (10 points, 9 rebounds and a season-high 9 assists).

(Have a question, concern or conception for tomorrow’€™s Irish Coffee or a future mailbag? Send an e-mail to brohrbach@weei.com or a Twitter message to @brohrbach.)

Read More: Boston Celtics, Kendrick Perkins, Kevin Garnett, NBA
NBA Power Rankings, 1/27 01.27.11 at 5:38 pm ET
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1. San Antonio (39-7): It seems like every time I look at the NBA standings, the Spurs are 9-1 in their last 10 games. It’s ridiculous. According to John Hollinger’s playoff odds, San Antonio has a 78.1 percent chance of capturing the top seed out West and homecourt throughout the playoffs. Yet, their odds of making the Finals are just 27.3 percent, despite possessing the league’s best home record at 24-2. Strange.

2. Boston (34-10): The Celtics lost another game to a bad team when they fell to the Wizards over the weekend, but we’ll give them a break considering it was once again the result of playing on the road in the second game of a back-to-back following a plane trip. Losses to the Cavaliers, Rockets and Wizards are the only reason the C’s aren’t ranked No. 1, because no team has been better than them — when motivated.

3. LA Lakers (33-13): The silhouette of the NBA’s logo, former Lakers general manager Jerry West eased off his comments that the Lakers are too old to play defense (they’re ranked 10th in points allowed), but he didn’t back down from saying he wouldn’t want to play the Celtics every other night — calling the C’s the favorites over the Lakers to win the NBA title.

4. Miami (31-13): Speaking of predictions involving the Celtics and Lakers, Phil Jackson obviously chimed in, as he doesn’t believe the Heat can get by the Celtics to reach the NBA Finals. Considering the Celtics still own a 2-0 record against Miami (and it wasn’t even that close), how can you argue with Jackson? Especially after you watch some of the poses Chris Bosh gets into during his Maxim shoot.

5. Chicago (31-14): I figured the Bulls could be a top-five team once Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah were both healthy at the same time. It turns out Noah’s presence isn’t necessary for that to happen. Perhaps more important than homecourt advantage in the Celtics’ chase for the No. 1 seed is the fact that — as it stands now — they’d only have to face the Heat or Bulls and not both in the playoffs.

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA, power rankings
Irish Coffee: Celtics less valuable than Lakers 01.27.11 at 12:10 pm ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦ 

According to Forbes Magazine’s latest valuations of all 30 NBA franchises, 17 teams hemorrhaged money over the last year — the highest number since the 1998-99 lockout — despite the fact that 24 of those 30 clubs generated at least $100 million in revenue.

Based on the numbers, the Celtics are the fourth most valuable franchise in the NBA. They generated $151 million in revenue while the franchise’s value rose 5 percent over the past year, yet they made just $4.2 million.

When the magazine released the same figures just over a year ago, the Celtics ranked as the eighth-most valuable franchise, generating less revenue but taking home almost $9 million more in income.

Despite the state of the U.S. economy, the average value of all 30 NBA franchises rose 1 percent since the magazine’s last valuations. However, the average team’s operating income fell 22 percent — to $6.1 million — “the lowest figure since the 2002-03 season.”

In the offseason, Amar’e Stoudemire and LeBron James altered the balance of NBA financial power. The Knicks’ worth increased 12 percent, dethroning the Lakers as the league’s most valuable franchise. Meanwhile, the Heat’s worth rose 17 percent, while the Cavaliers‘ value fell 26 percent.

Here are the top five most valuable NBA franchises:

After noting the surprising fact that the Pistons, who haven’t been able to find a proper suitor, are valued 13th, here are the five least valuable NBA franchises:

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA, Portland Trail Blazers
Kevin Garnett releases ‘Beat L.A.’ shoes 01.26.11 at 5:12 pm ET
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The Chinese shoe company that sponsors Kevin Garnett, Anta, is releasing the latest pair in the KG1 series, entitled “Beat L.A.” The 152-120 reference on the tongue of the green and white suede shoes is a reference to the Celtics‘ lead in their all-time regular-season series against the Lakers.

The Celtics and Lakers square off for the first time this season on Sunday afternoon at the Staples Center. Think Garnett will be sporting these?

Read More: Anta, Beat L.A., Boston Celtics, Kevin Garnett
Irish Coffee: Danny Ainge would trade anybody 01.26.11 at 11:53 am ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦ 

For the right price, Celtics president of basketball operations Danny Ainge would’ve traded just about anybody — Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett or Ray Allen — during the C’s .500 stretch last season. 

Heck, he would’ve traded Larry Bird and Kevin McHale in the 1980s, too, according to the latest piece from Sports Illustrated’s Ian Thomsen.

Here are five things that we learned from Thomsen’s conversation with Ainge: 

1. During the 1988-89 season, Ainge urged Red Auerbach to trade Bird to the Pacers for Chuck Person, Herb Williams and Steve Stipanovich, as well as McHale to the Mavericks for Detlef Schrempf and Sam Perkins

“I’ll never forget being at that Christmas party and we discussed them. He told us all at that time he wasn’t going to trade any of us, that he wanted us to finish our careers as Celtics. And a few months later, they traded me for Joe Kleine and Ed Pinckney. … 

(Interjection: It’s kind of funny that the guy who pleaded Red to deal Bird and McHale got traded himself. Coincidence? You tell me.) 

“But you could get Detlef Schrempf and Sam Perkins in their early 20s for Kevin McHale on a downward-slide team that was not going to win a championship. Stipanovich would be hurt and wouldn’t play, but Chuck had a good career. Those guys were still young, and instead you were getting two or three more years of Larry, but you were only getting 75-80 percent of Larry. We didn’t have a chance to win the championship in ’88-89 because Larry wasn’t playing — he was in those ankle casts. I don’t think anybody really believed we were a championship team during the 1988-89 season or after that. We were just hanging on.” 

By the way, here are the best seasons from Bird, Person, Williams, Stipanovich, McHale, Schrempf and Perkins after the 1988-89 season: 

  • Bird (1989-90): 24.3 points, 9.5 rebounds, 7.5 assists, 47.3 FG%, 33.3 3-PT FG%, 93.0 FT%
  • Person (1989-90): 19.7 points, 5.8 rebounds, 3.0 assists, 48.7 FG%, 37.2 3-PT FG%, 78.1 FT%
  • Williams (1990-91): 12.5 points, 6.0 rebounds, 1.6 assists, 1.5 blocks, 50.7 FG%, 63.8 FT%
  • Stipanovich: never played after the 1987-88 season (injury)
  • McHale (1989-90): 20.9 points, 8.3 rebounds, 2.1 assists, 1.9 blocks, 54.9 FG%, 89.3 FT%
  • Schrempf (1992-93): 19.2 points, 6.2 rebounds, 3.8 assists, 52.3 FG%, 51.4 3-PT FG%, 83.9 FT%
  • Perkins (1991-92): 16.5 points, 8.8 rebounds, 2.2 assists, 1.0 blocks, 45.0 FG%, 81.7 FT%

If it were me, with the benefit of hindsight, there’s no way I would’ve traded Bird for that package during the 1988-89 season. McHale? Well, that’s a different story. 

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Danny Ainge, Kendrick Perkins, Larry Bird
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