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Saturday Night Live parodies Kevin Garnett 01.16.11 at 11:22 am ET
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Pretty weak impression of Celtics forward Kevin Garnett by Saturday Night Live’s Jay Pharaoh, but an all-around good skit. The Tres Equis commercial and top-five plays are pretty hilarious. Worth checking out …

Read More: Boston Celtics, Jay Pharaoh, Kevin Garnett, Saturday Night Live
Irish Coffee: Sorting through Celtics speak 01.14.11 at 11:21 am ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦

Check out this video of some chick named Kath singing Nate Robison‘s tweets. It starts to get pretty funny around the 53-second mark. My favorite lyric, courtesy of the Celtics’ backup guard: “Don’t you just feel like getting away from the world? I do, just me and my kids — eff everything else.”

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT …

Doc Rivers and Jermaine O’Neal discussed the injury-plagued Celtics on WEEI on Thursday, and Paul Pierce did the same in his blog on Celtics.com. If you listen to the links, you’ll learn a few things, like …

Rivers plans on sticking around for a while, as he discussed the possibility of passing Tommy Heinsohn for second among coaches on the team’s all-time winning list; he’s 119 games away, which would put him on the bench for at least another two seasons:

“Yeah, I could. That would be nice. That would mean that we’re doing well and playing well. That still takes a while. That would be nice to do. I would say that.”

Despite his original insistence that Kevin Garnett‘s absence didn’t hurt them in their loss to the Rockets, Rivers admitted that indeed the defense is falling apart without their All-Star forward:

“We watched tape the other day of our transition defense, and it screamed of no Kevin — that voice of telling guys to get back, get to your spot, look left, pick-and-roll defense. … It’s like losing the linebacker on your team who leads your team and tells everybody where they should go. Not having that hurts your defense.”

According to Rivers, Garnett is day-to-day but not ready to return yet, which seems to me like more than day-to-day:

“I hate dates, if you know what I mean. If anyone says two weeks or a week, that’s silly, because you don’t know how long anything’s going to take. He is day-to-day, very close, but just not ready yet.”

According to Jermaine O’Neal, his role on this team is to defend the pick-and-roll, block shots and rebound — which seems pretty simple for a guy who makes more than Glen Davis, Shaquille O’Neal and Semih Erden combined:

“This team is built a certain way, and it’s one of the rare teams that is really a system team, and it needs different components for the system to run right. You don’t need two batteries in the motor. You need different parts in the car to make it run, and I’m one of those parts — to help defensively to stop the pick and roll, block shots and get some rebounds.”

O’Neal also admitted that in-season knee surgery is not completely out of the question:

“That was definitely something we talked about the first time I was out for an extended period of time. We wanted to try a couple options, and that may be something that we’re looking at now. It’s something I will eventually need at the end of the season. You want to be around, and you don’t want to miss an extended period of time, and I’ve already done that. So, you make decisions as a player. … We’re going to make a decision on what’s best for me to get better, be done with the ailment and be back on the court full-time.”

The Celtics’ backup bigman believes that — if healthy — the Celtics are pretty much unstoppable:

“To have one of the best records in the league, and we haven’t had a full complement of players all year, that makes us feel a certain way. We feel like once we do get everyone back it’s going to be extremely, extremely tough to beat our team.”

The following guys are battling through injuries, according to Pierce: the O’Neal “brothers”, Robinson, Garnett, Rajon Rondo, Semih Erden and Delonte West:

“We’€™re taking it game by game. Fighting through injuries with Shaq, Jermaine, Rajon, Nate and Semih and KG all dinged up. It hurt me a lot to see Delonte go down with the broken wrist, but in the NBA, it’€™s always go time, so we can’€™t lose our focus when something like that happens.”

Good times all around. If the Celtics can hobble through Friday night’s game against the Bobcats, they’ll have two days off before facing the Magic on Monday. By then, Garnett could be back in the lineup for a much-needed boost.

CELTICS’ TRADE CHIPS 

The NBA trade deadline is approaching in February, so HoopsWorld is detailing where each team stands in terms of needs, trade bait and salary cap. Here’s how they depict the Celtics:

Notable Trade Chips: Von Wafer (one year/$900K), Avery Bradley (two years/$3 million plus team options for 2012-2013 and 2013-2014), Marquis Daniels (one year/$2.5 million), Glen Davis (one year/$3.3 million), Luke Harangody (two years/$1.2 million) and Nate Robinson (two years/$8.7 million).

Salary Cap Situation: The Celtics are nearly $31 million over the cap this season and are $7.4 million over the luxury tax threshold.

Trade Exceptions: None

Their contention that the Celtics will be looking to deal for a backup point guard and center is fairly ridiculous, considering they’ll be adding West and Perkins over the next month, but it is at least worth noting who has value around the league and how much the C’s owners are investing in this team.

(Have a question, concern or conception for tomorrow’€™s Irish Coffee or a future mailbag? Send an e-mail to brohrbach@weei.com or a Twitter message to @brohrbach.)

Read More: Boston Celtics, Doc Rivers, Jermaine O'Neal, Nate Robinson
Irish Coffee: Semih Erden vs. Jermaine O’Neal 01.13.11 at 11:56 am ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦

It’s a hodgepodge edition of Irish Coffee this morning, so stay alert. While Brent Barry may have compared Glen “Big Baby” Davis to an actual baby in the video that accompanies this blog, we’re going to take a look at the per-minute averages of Celtics centers Jermaine O’Neal and Semih Erden:

J. O’Neal: 0.29 points, 0.21 rebounds, 0.16 personal fouls, 0.07 blocks, 0.06 turnovers, 0.03 assists, 0.01 steals, 44.7 field-goal percentage, 77.8 free-throw percentage.

Erden: 0.28 points, 0.18 rebounds, 0.17 personal fouls, 0.06 turnovers, 0.04 blocks, 0.03 assists, 0.02 steals, 57.7 field-goal percentage, 60.5 free-throw percentage.

After Erden dropped 10 points and nine rebounds in 33 minutes against the Kings while O’Neal sat out his 21st game of the season with a sore knee, I thought to myself: Would Erden be a better option than O’Neal? Considering these numbers at this point, why not invest your time in a 24-year-old rookie with room for improvement rather than a 32-year-old veteran who has logged 24,757 minutes and has a sore knee for life?

Paul Flannery has more on the growing concern that is Jermaine O’Neal’s knee in his Three-Pointer.

SACTOWN REACTION

The difference between the Celtics and Kings is so glaring that Sacramento’s players and coach not only openly admitted that fact, they expressed their desire to essentially grow up to be the C’s:

Kings coach Paul Westphal (via the Sacramento Bee): “You could pick up how they work together to take away your first and second options. They were really on the same page doing that. … They really don’t care who shoots. They run their stuff, and they know they have threats at all the places, and they get the shot they want.”

Kings guard Beno Udrih (also via the Bee): “On offense, nobody’s worrying about who’s going to score. They just hit the guy that’s open. They set screens. They play basketball basically the way it should be played.”

And then there’s my favorite quote of the day, also from Westphal, on the starting matchup between Kings rookie Eugene “Pooh” Jeter (Boston fans have probably used that nickname for another guy) and Rajon Rondo:

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Doc Rivers, Jermaine O'Neal, Semih Erden
Irish Coffee: Does poor Celtics offensive rebounding matter? 01.12.11 at 11:48 am ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦

Despite losing two straight games, if you look at the Celtics’ statistics, there’s not much they’re doing poorly over the course of this season. They’ve made more field goals than their opponents while taking fewer shots. They’ve dished out more assists, snatched more steals, swatted more blocks and committed fewer turnovers.

In fact, only one number sticks out. The Celtics have been out-rebounded overall by four. More specifically, they’ve been out-boarded on the offensive glass by 97 and rank last this year in the category that Red Auerbach called “the hardest single phase of basketball.”

When you consider the fact that the C’s are shooting a league-leading 50.2 percent from the field — leaving fewer chances for themselves — that number is less glaring than at first glance, but does it matter at all? C’s head coach Doc Rivers doesn’t think so.

“I’m not a big believer in offensive rebounds,” said Rivers. “I think if you if you get back every single time and not get offensive rebounds, you probably save more points in the long run. So, that’s not a concern.”

Anyone who watched Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals — when the Lakers out-rebounded the Celtics 23-8 on the offensive end — might disagree with Rivers on that contention. While fans often rely on emotions for their arguments, Rivers can generally point to statistics to back up his statements, so let’s look to the numbers.

Here are the top-five NBA teams record-wise with their rank in offensive rebounds per game in parentheses:

  • 1. Spurs (15th)
  • 2. Heat (25th)
  • 3. Celtics (30th)
  • 4. Lakers (5th)
  • 5. Mavericks (29th)

Here are the bottom-five NBA teams record-wise with their rank in offensive rebounds per game in parentheses:

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Doc Rivers, Marquis Daniels, Nate Robinson
Irish Coffee: The transformation of Von Wafer 01.11.11 at 11:17 am ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦

Optimus Prime. Wheeljack. Von Wafer. The name even sounds like a “Transformers” character.

For Doc Rivers and the Celtics, that’s exactly what he is. Wafer left Houston as an established offensive player and came to Boston as a defensive project.

‘€œHe played very well for us,” Rockets head coach Rick Adelman said prior to Monday night’s 108-102 defeat of the Celtics. “He was a real spark off the bench. He won a lot of games for us. He’€™s a guy who once he gets comfortable he’€™s a real threat. I think eventually he’€™s going to help them.’€

In 2008-09, as a member of the Rockets, Wafer played 20 minutes a night, averaging 9.7 points in 63 games — including 11 starts. He even hit a clutch 3-pointer that sunk the Celtics almost two years ago to the day. This season, with this Celtics team, he might not get more than five minutes on a given night.

“Whether you play five minutes or 15, you’€™ve got to play hard,” added Adelman. “You’€™ve got to make a contribution to the team. Some guys don’€™t feel like that. They feel like they have to get minutes to help the team. You can’€™t do that.”

When Wafer first arrived in Boston, he fell into the camp of guys who felt like they needed minutes to contribute — and by contribute, he meant score. After all, that’s what Adelman wanted from him in Houston.

“He’€™s unbelievable,” Wafer said of his former coach. “He just let me do whatever, let me be who I was. It didn’€™t matter how many shots I missed. He just let me play.” Even at the expense of his defense.

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Houston Rockets, Jermaine O'Neal, NBA
The Three-Pointer: Celtics aching for Kevin Garnett 01.11.11 at 12:34 am ET
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And that’€™s why the Celtics need a healthy Kevin Garnett.

Garnett missed his seventh straight game as a result of the calf he strained during a game in Detroit on Dec. 29, and sooner or later his absence was bound to catch up to the Celtics. Coincidence or not, it happened on the night Garnett was rumored to return.

He didn’€™t, and the Celtics lost 108-102 to the Rockets, who had suffered five straight defeats entering the game and suited up without Yao Ming or Kevin Martin in uniform.

Houston did, however, have one very good power forward in the lineup (Luis Scola) and a pair of budding big men (Patrick Patterson and Jordan Hill), who combined for 34 points and 21 rebounds. You think that’€™s happening on Kevin Garnett’€™s watch?

‘€œWe just weren’€™t ready,’€ said Doc Rivers. ‘€œI told our guys I thought overall it was probably our worst defensive effort in three, four years as far as overall effort.’€

For all that Glen Davis has done exceedingly well this season — and he has exceeded expectations — he’€™s no Kevin Garnett. That’€™s not breaking news or anything. But in Garnett’€™s absence, the Celtics have relied too much on Davis, and as a result he’€™s tried to do too much.

Starting in place of Garnett over the past seven games, Davis has shot just 41 percent (41-of-100) and grabbed more than five rebounds only once while averaging 35.7 minutes. In 30 games off the bench this season, he had been shooting 48 percent and averaging more than five rebounds in 28.5 minutes a game. Quite simply, he’€™s no longer doing the ‘€œgarbage man’€ things that made him a contender for the NBA’€™s Sixth Man of the Year.

‘€œHe’€™s getting too many minutes, quite honestly,’€ added Rivers. ‘€œThirty-eight minutes is too many for Baby. We don’€™t have a lot of options right now. Luke [Harangody]’€™s playing okay, but we may have to go small. That’€™s too many minutes, and that’€™s on me. Baby should play more in the 30-range, because I think the fatigue is bothering him.’€

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Glen Davis, Houston Rockets, Kevin Garnett
Irish Coffee: Celtics’ shooting aim historically high 01.10.11 at 1:42 pm ET
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Wake up with the Celtics and your daily dose of Irish Coffee ‘€¦

In the past 20 seasons, only a handful of teams have shot at least .500 from the field for an entire season. Despite shooting just .378 against the Bulls on Saturday night, the Celtics are still shooting .502 as a team this year, keeping pace with some pretty remarkable company historically.

Here are the teams that have shot better than .500 for an entire season since 1991-92:

There are plenty of conclusions to draw based on that list. Here are a few:

  • Of those seven teams, two — the 1991-92 NBA champion Bulls and 1994-95 Magic — reached the NBA Finals.
  • The guys who those offenses ran through: Michael Jordan, John Stockton, Steve Nash, Shaquille O’Neal and Tim Hardaway — which means Rajon Rondo would join some pretty remarkable players.
  • The fact that the 1984-85 Lakers shot .545 from the field for the season is simply ridiculous.
  • The last time the Celtics eclipsed .500 was in 1990-91, when Larry Bird & Co. shot .512 for the season.

The overwhelming positive for the Celtics is that they’re only allowing their opponents to shoot .437 from the field — better than any of the seven teams on that list. Six of those teams let their opponents shoot better than .450, and only the 1996-97 Jazz came close to this year’s C’s, allowing their opponents to shoot .438 from the field.

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Read More: Boston Celtics, Kevin Garnett, NBA, Rajon Rondo
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