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St. Louis Cardinals involved in real cheating scandal

NY Times [1] –  The F.B.I. and Justice Department prosecutors are investigating whether front-office officials for the St. Louis Cardinals [2], one of the most successful teams in baseball over the past two decades, hacked into internal networks of a rival team to steal closely guarded information about player personnel.

Investigators have uncovered evidence that Cardinals officials broke into a network of the Houston Astros [3] that housed special databases the team had built, according to law enforcement officials. Internal discussions about trades, proprietary statistics and scouting reports were compromised, the officials said.

The officials did not say which employees were the focus of the investigation or whether the team’€™s highest-ranking officials were aware of the hacking or authorized it.

Well, well, well. Look at what we’ve got here. How many articles have been written over the last ten years or so about the Cardinals’ sustained excellence (like this [4], this [5] and this [6])? How they can lose superstars like Albert Pujols [7], watch the brilliant Tony LaRussa retire and suffer devastating injuries to guys like Adam Wainwright [8] and still remain one of the elite teams in all of baseball year after year.

And it’s always the same story. They have the best management. The best scouting. They can’t spend like the big market teams but they find the best talent. The best tradition in the majors. And of course they have the best, purest and most knowledgeable baseball fans. Or my personal favorite, the gooey, sentimental, romantic BS about The Cardinal Way [9].

When really all along we find out it was all just good old fashioned cheating. They spied on opponents, stole their secrets and everything they’ve ever accomplished is a lie. They’ve only won because in their arrogance they act like they’re above the rules. Slap an asterisk on every World Series [10] they’ve won. Publicly scorn the managers. Suspend their best player for a quarter of the season. Take draft picks away. Call them frauds and liars.

The Cheatinals.

Or, just get right to the punchline and blame it all on this guy.



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